tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188817242011-07-07T19:21:58.287-07:00Dirty Haikus, haikus about farting, other bodily functionsmrdariusnoreply@blogger.comBlogger281100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-85378489668882657222010-03-05T12:15:00.001-08:002010-03-05T12:15:55.182-08:00<a href="http://www.snorgtees.com/haikutshirt-p-667.html">Click for Haiku Bitches</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-8537848966888265722?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Arashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08941780366739638986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-19656788261601038652007-11-28T23:18:00.000-08:002007-11-28T23:24:21.077-08:00Take a piss, lay down,<br />Fart real quiet, hear her stir: STENCH<br />Pretend I'm asleep<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-1965678826160103865?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Arashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08941780366739638986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-89116748709202070412007-10-11T04:14:00.000-07:002007-10-11T04:16:40.666-07:00when you fart at work<br />it's important to open<br />the window wide, duh<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-8911674870920207041?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Arashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08941780366739638986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1151049888966534722006-06-23T01:00:00.000-07:002006-06-23T01:04:48.976-07:00Hot Mexican beans<br />floating in river of chilli<br />burns me new butt hole<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-115104988896653472?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Rachyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15367926915080922471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1145714607275013622006-04-22T07:00:00.000-07:002006-04-22T07:03:27.293-07:00Golden syrup flows<br />and splashes on the porcelain<br />Sweet, sweet urinal<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-114571460727501362?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Rachyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15367926915080922471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1144554555080845192006-04-08T20:39:00.000-07:002006-04-08T20:49:15.096-07:00Quadriplegic fart<br />Can't lift up cheek from cushion<br />Squishy like flat pie<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-114455455508084519?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Rachyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15367926915080922471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1144444190477736222006-04-07T14:07:00.000-07:002006-04-07T14:09:50.476-07:00So dehydrated<br />Must pee out booze from last night<br />Ew, it's so yellow.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-114444419047773622?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1144444030382431212006-04-07T14:03:00.000-07:002006-04-07T14:07:10.383-07:00Some of the <a href="http://www.observationdeck.org/lip/?p=1055#comments">comments</a> on <a href="http://www.observationdeck.org/lip">Rachel</a>'s blog got me to thinking that this blog is not dirty or diverse enough. Plus, how much can you really write haikus about just farting (well, quite a bit, it would seem).<br /><br />So, while this blog will retain its fartarific name, I hereby open it to all mean of nastiness.<br /><br />Huzzah!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-114444403038243121?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1143796129533596132006-03-31T01:05:00.000-08:002006-04-03T18:34:04.443-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3583/1358/1600/tampon.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3583/1358/320/tampon.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />My stomach is sore<br />And I didn't eat curry<br />I guess it's that time<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-114379612953359613?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Rachyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15367926915080922471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1143547704647309942006-03-28T04:05:00.000-08:002006-03-28T04:08:24.646-08:00When I do yoga<br />There's always hot women, but<br />Dog pose spurs dog farts<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-114354770464730994?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1139657859045284332006-02-11T03:36:00.000-08:002006-03-23T21:12:15.166-08:00I fart really bad<br />Hot coworker waltzes in<br />Please don't come near me<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113965785904528433?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Arashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08941780366739638986noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1138214584528315692006-01-25T10:41:00.000-08:002006-01-25T10:43:04.526-08:00the thing i like most<br />about the stars up above<br />is that they're gaseous<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113821458452831569?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1136960795705891022006-01-10T22:24:00.000-08:002006-01-10T22:26:35.716-08:00Today my phone gave me a <br />reminder of today's great task:<br />"farting on pillow haiku"<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113696079570589102?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Arashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08941780366739638986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1136551867790080332006-01-06T04:49:00.000-08:002006-01-06T04:51:07.803-08:00artificial heart fart<br />complex body part fart<br />culinary art fart<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113655186779008033?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Arashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08941780366739638986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1136268761673496022006-01-02T22:11:00.000-08:002006-01-02T22:12:41.673-08:00dairy dairy quite<br />contrary, you aren't so nice<br />without lactaid pills<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113626876167349602?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Kate Rose Johnsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1136268656536263902006-01-02T22:09:00.000-08:002006-01-02T22:10:56.546-08:00someone snuck onions<br />in the loaf of sausage bread<br />guess it's time to go<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113626865653626390?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Kate Rose Johnsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1134661221720121742005-12-15T07:38:00.000-08:002006-03-31T18:12:49.436-08:00Oh, what a relief!<br />That all of my recent farts<br />Have not been sloppy.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113466122172012174?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1134141737355720832005-12-09T07:16:00.000-08:002005-12-09T07:22:17.370-08:00Whenever it snows<br />Soon enough, all of the snow<br />Looks like someone crapped.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113414173735572083?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1133973371900657302005-12-07T08:34:00.000-08:002005-12-07T08:36:11.923-08:00If you never fart<br />Then your insides will expand<br />Until you blow up<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113397337190065730?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1133546309920473962005-12-02T09:56:00.000-08:002005-12-03T23:02:24.266-08:00enemas sound gross<br />but don't knock until you've tried<br />maybe they feel good.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113354630992047396?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1133478284282480882005-12-01T15:02:00.000-08:002005-12-01T15:06:13.593-08:00perhaps I could braid<br />or shave a nice lightning bolt<br />triangle hairdo's<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113347828428248088?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Kate Rose Johnsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1133434273313887762005-12-01T02:48:00.000-08:002005-12-01T02:51:21.736-08:00I farted three times<br />Imagining it was done<br />In front of my love<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113343427331388776?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Arashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08941780366739638986noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1133198879551817572005-11-28T09:26:00.000-08:002005-11-28T09:27:59.560-08:00How hard it can be<br />To hold in that foul gas<br />When the turkey's passed<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113319887955181757?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Kate Rose Johnsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1132687598987254322005-11-22T11:24:00.000-08:002005-11-29T23:59:34.653-08:00When you're on a plane,<br />Only one Rule to obey:<br />Never ever fart!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113268759898725432?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1132590651297030002005-11-21T08:30:00.000-08:002005-11-21T12:39:52.893-08:00Something's erupting.<br />Millions of lives in danger?<br />No, it's just lava.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113259065129703000?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1132260210469254082005-11-17T12:37:00.000-08:002005-11-21T12:40:54.756-08:00used to let my dog<br />climb into bed, but always,<br />she'd fart in my face.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113226021046925408?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1132256611677874272005-11-17T11:42:00.000-08:002006-03-28T04:12:56.833-08:00like a voiceless sigh<br />air travels by my sphincter<br />en route to your nose<br /><br />If I chance forget<br />what 'twas for lunch I ate<br />my bum reminds me<br /><br />my cheeks split in two<br />so that air when passing through<br />makes them clap a song<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113225661167787427?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Kate Rose Johnsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18881724.post-1131745907662674632005-11-11T13:48:00.000-08:002005-11-16T08:04:05.070-08:00Pissing in your ear,<br />Going ka ka in your mouth,<br />What's this all about?!<br /><br />I killed myself by<br />Holding my own head under<br />covers and farting.<br /><br />Bombs blasting, children<br />crying at the rancid air.<br />War's new sound is toot.<br /><br />Like a stealth bomber<br />unheard, my bum delivers<br />a dutch oven death.<br /><br />you must light a match<br />when you release too much gas<br />or your nose will faint<br /><br />When I feel a toot<br />that's sloppy and wet to boot<br />Hershey is it you?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/18881724-113174590766267463?l=fartku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>mrdariusnoreply@blogger.com4